Boy Advice: Crushes

Boy Advice: When Life Feels Like A Taylor Swift Song

You totally weren’t expecting this. It’s a typical Monday. All that’s on your mind is what you’ll be having for lunch. Without warning, he walks through the door. You're breathless. He sits down at the desk beside you and asks to borrow a pencil. Your mouth goes dry. You open it up, but no words come out. A friendly smile slips across his face as he shakes his shaggy blonde hair before turning to ask the girl beside him for a pencil. Her mouth works fine.

The rest of the day, you can't focus on math. All those numbers blur and dance across your page, because the new boy is sitting right next to you! You walk home feeling like you're on Cloud Nineteen and your friends ask what's wrong with you. What can you say?

You get home, float up the stairs, close the door behind you, and sink onto your bed. You hug your pillow, close your eyes and squeal. It's love!

Crushes, Rushes and Butterflies...

He might be the new kid in town, a movie star, or your best guy friend that you've known since Kindergarten, but all of a sudden you start to notice him in a new way. You don’t know how it happened or why…but suddenly, your heart feels like it’s tumbling around in the washing machine. With all these emotional butterflies and feelings whirling around inside, what's a girl to do?

This month, I received an e-mail from a girl who found herself constantly thinking about a guy she likes. She asked for some boy advice…

"How can I stop thinking about him? How can I focus on other things and not let this guy take over my thoughts?"


She’s not alone in asking these questions. Maybe you’ve been wondering the same thing. How do I handle life when it feels like a Taylor Swift song?      

1) Know That You're Perfectly Normal
"We were both young when I first saw you, close my eyes and the flashback starts..."

First of all, you're not the first girl to feel like you’re floating on cotton candy clouds. These emotions can feel powerful and sometimes even frightening. If your stomach churns and your cheeks glow red every time you hear his name…know that you’re not crazy! Even if all your friends think you’re strange....they'll feel the same way you do someday. Know that your feelings matter and that you're not the only girl who’s ever felt this way.

2) Talk To Someone
"All those other girls, yeah they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?"

I wouldn't suggest blurting the news to all your friends, or writing a song for your crush and posting it on YouTube. If you feel like you're gonna burst, tell someone trust worthy, like your mom, your Aunt Susan, your journal, or your dog.

Sometimes it feels better to share with someone. When we talk about things, it helps us untangle our feelings and see things from a different perspective.

If you're a praying girl, you can always share your news with the Creator of the Universe!
God will always be listening, and nothing is ever too silly or serious to talk about with Him.

3) Don't Get Obsessed
"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only one whose got enough of me to break my heart..."

It's easy for your thoughts to become consumed with this crush. When a girl is mentally reliving memories of him and dreaming about the future, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters.

The reality of this moment is that you will feel this way about another guy, somewhere, someday. Even though right now he feels like everything, don't make him your world.

It's easy to inflate a mere human being and elevate him to the level of a god. It's easy to think of him as your hero and see him as everything you've ever dreamed. But he's not perfect. If you place such high expectations upon a human boy, it'll be all too easy to wind up with a broken heart and teardrops on your guitar. I've been there.

It can be a tough truth to swallow but boys at this age are not men yet. They're still growing up. They act immature. They do stupid things. They don't always treat girls like the princess that we are. If you really want to end up with a true prince charming, you might be waiting awhile. Most boys are frogs in the frog pond who have yet to turn into royal princes.

So how can you keep yourself from becoming totally enthralled with him while he’s still a frog?


"Above everything else guard your heart,
because from it flow the springs of life..."
Proverbs 4:23

This ancient Biblical Proverb advises us to guard our hearts, because everything we do flows from there. Full, healthy hearts love life and appreciate beauty. Broken, bitter hearts feel depressed, discouraged and hurt others because they have been hurt. But how can a princess keep her heart safe when an adorable prince is tossing pebbles at her window?

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7 

The scripture above tells us to cast our cares on God, and His peace will guard our hearts! We don't have to be our own armor bearers. We don't have to stay away from boys, stand on the other side of the room, and not dare touch them with a ten foot pole! We can learn to relate with our guy friends, encourage them, and learn to be a safe friend. We can practice being princesses while we wait for them to become princes.

This verse tells us that our hearts will be kept safe and guarded, just as long as we cast our cares on God. What does this mean? It means if we talk to God, stay in constant communication and abide in His love, He will protect us and our emotions.

All you have to do is talk to Him! Let Him know how you feel about this guy. It's great to pray something like,

"Lord, you've placed this guy in my life for a reason. Is it just to be friends and learn how to relate with guys, or will this someday turn into something more? Help me to be like Sleeping Beauty and don't let my heart wake up until it's time for love! Prepare me to be an amazing princess for my future prince." 

4) Remember What's Important 
"I swore I was gonna marry him someday but I realized some bigger dreams of mine..."

"Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."
Philippians 4:8 

Grab your journal and make a list of all the things you like about him. What are the qualities you find so attractive in him? Is it physical features, personality, or common interests? Write down his positive qualities. If it's noble, admirable, or praiseworthy, write it down! This will help you realize why you like him. Is it just his cute looks, or his funny personality? Is it because he's kind to everyone or because he's showing you a lil' bit of extra attention?

Make your list and then give it to God! Let the Lord know all the reasons you like him and then surrender. Ask Him to help you keep your heart safe.

Now, make a second list. Create a list of things that you are thankful for, your goals, your dreams, and aspirations. Write down what's important to you in life. What would you like to accomplish? Would you like to be married someday? Write that down. Would you like to travel? Jot it! Make this list totally you…and remember that your goals go further than just finding the right guy.  

Tuck these lists into a safe place.

They will remind you of who you are, what you're looking for and what's important to you. It will help keep you focused on what really matters and live with extravagant purpose.

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When Life Feels Like a Taylor Swift Song:
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