Friendship Advice:
Friendship Killers: Jealousy

Friendship Killers: Jealousy Is Like A Leach

My pink-painted toes splashed along the beach, balancing on slippery rocks, making clumsy attempts to capture glittering minnows with sparkly bellies.

That carefree summer afternoon at my Grandmother’s lake was winding to an end, as I leaped out of the sand and onto the grassy lawn.

But suddenly, when I least expected it, a terrible black blood sucker gripped onto my bare leg. I screamed in horror and did an awkward version of the Hokey-Pokey, dancing until that thing came flying off my leg and into the campfire.

Yuck!

Blood suckers…also known as leaches, are disgusting and terrifying. They chill out on the rocks in shallow water and sabotage unsuspecting victims.

Would you believe me if I said that jealousy is just as terrifying?

It also attacked me one warm summer afternoon. After a fun filled day of building sandcastles in the summer sunshine, I went inside to watch my favorite channel as a preteen. Disney's Hannah Montana was playing on the screen and I laughed at the quirky lines and easy banter between besties, Miley and Lilly. It was the first time I’d seen Disney’s hit show. I laughed through the next three episodes and became an insta-fan.
 
That night before I went to bed I remember telling Mom all about my favorite new TV show,
"Miley's so cool.” I gushed, “She's so real and down to earth. Not like those other T.V. stars that you see wearing loads of makeup." I admired her quirky lines, adorable clothes and funky southern accent. She seemed so fun!

Then a silent thought crept into my mind as I turned the light out.

I wish I was her.

And that's when the leach of jealousy attached itself to my heart. I didn't even notice at first. But the leach slowly had an effect. Soon I found myself admiring and desiring everything about her life. It wasn't long before I wanted her life so badly that pretty soon I didn't even enjoy my life anymore.

I wanted to be her.

One day I woke up from my daydreams about Hannah Montana and realized that I didn't even enjoy my life anymore. I was too busy wishing for the life of another.

Jealous…Who Me?  
Do you have a friend with gorgeous hair, a perfect family or lots of friends? Do you secretly find yourself wishing you could be more like her, or have something that she has?

I have struggled with wishing I was someone other then myself.

It's all too easy to compare and contrast with our friends. And every time we do, we seem to end up with the short end of the deal.

I have envied friends and found myself quietly angry with them for no reason at all. Bigger houses, cute boy friends, perfect pixie faces…there are many ways that we can fall prey to the leach of jealousy.

It’s easy to look at the life we’ve been given and think “If only I had…”

We imagine ourselves living our friends’ lives and believe we would be better off.

I think this quote by Lisa Bevere is very fitting,

"If only. If only is a lie. You were not meant to live the life of another, you’re meant to live your life with passion and gratitude. If it is somewhat less then what you desire, it is up to you to rewrite your story or attitude; don't insert yourself into the story of another or try to steal the role he or she plays. We all need you to be fully who God created you to be."

Are you trying to insert yourself into a friend’s story?
 
Sometimes we believe the grass is so much greener on the other side of the fence, but that's because we're spending too much time looking at their yard, and not enough at our own!

Like Lisa said, if you don't like what you see then water it! If you're struggling to appreciate yourself, your beauty, and your life, maybe you need a reminder.

Your life is amazing. You have been given this spectacular gift called individuality. Unwrap everything inside you and discover what makes you special. Don’t spend your energy peering around the Christmas tree, wishing you had someone else’s Christmas gift. 

Make A List…And Check It Twice  
 Jealousy is a joy stealer. I, wishing that I was Miley, wasted so many days I can never get back. Days that I was unhappy, dissatisfied and blind to my many blessings. Don't waste time wishing for the life of a friend...because she might be secretly wishing for yours!
 
Jealousy is a wedge that can force itself between you and your friends. If you're jealous about her job, boyfriend, or body, you'll be feeling inferior to her and won't be having a good time when you're together.

I dare you to take stock of everything good in your life. Make a list about all the positive qualities you possess! Grab your journal and write down what you enjoy about yourself, the gifts you have and your special qualities.

Tell God that you're struggling with this. Ask your Heavenly Daddy to remove the leach of jealousy from your heart and fill it with gratitude. Ask to see yourself through His eyes. You will be amazed by what you see. You are more blessed than you could have dreamed!

More Friendship Advice:
How To Make New Friends
How To Be a Safe Friend
Friendship Flowers..smart ways to water, weed, and enjoy your budding friendships!

Girl Talk!
Have you ever struggled with jealousy? Why were you jealous? How did you overcome it? Tell us about it here!