seasons of Friendlessness

By Abbie C. 

Friendlessness - a season in life with a lack of friendships

From the time I was a baby until I was eight years old I had best friends who were basically siblings to me. I saw them several times a week. We played, fought, and adventured together, completely unawares of what the future held for us. A few weeks after I turned eight my family moved to Germany. Almost nine years later, and I haven't seen them since. I also haven't experienced friendships quite like that. 

I've experienced a period where I don't have in-person, sibling-type close friendships with people outside of my family, and it's lasted almost half my (so far) life. And it's rough. My best friend for a while has been my sweet, sweet pen-pal, who I started writing letters to when I was ten and didn't meet in person till I was fifteen.

When I was thirteen I started a Pinterest account and slowly began commenting back and forth with other Godly Christian girls who had very similar interests to myself. Years later and some of them are my closest friends, the people I've clung to in times where I felt discouraged. We write each other, we read each other's blogs, and we keep up with each other on social media. They are God-given blessings in my life and and I'm so, so grateful to have them. 

But there were dark times, especially when I was moving around America for over a year. I felt depressed and bitter, I harbored anger at my circumstances, frustrated with my "lonely" life.

Then I remembered that I have a Best Friend who holds everything, even my longing for friendship, in His hands.

I prayed for God to provide me with opportunities for friendships. I also asked for my relationship with Him to grow, and that I would always remember that I have Jesus, and Jesus is all I need.  It was a hard time for me, but I learned a lot.

Fast forward to now, and I have so many budding friendships with Godly Christian girls, I'm overwhelmed... WITH HAPPINESS! Making friends is a challenge, but it's a challenge I've prayed for, and so now I'm accepting it with wide open arms and a hopeful heart. 

Are you in a season of friendlessness right now? Here are some outlined steps you can take during this seemingly dry season in your life. 

Pray and spend time in Gods Word. Maybe God is working you through a state of friendlessness so you realize Who your greatest Friend truly is. 

Grow closer to your family. My closest friend besides Jesus is my sister. She left behind her best friend when we moved to Germany too, and this time has been just as hard for her. We've held on to each other, sharing things that we would only ever share with our God and our parents. I don't know who I'd be without her, and the same goes for my parents. 

Get out of your comfort zone. I'm talking to the introverted girls, maybe ones with social anxiety. Talk to the other lonely kid at church. Introduce yourself to someone. Go to the youth group soccer hangouts at the park (even if you're completely un-athletic — I may or may not be speaking from experience). Talk to people who aren't your age. Initiate conversations and chats over coffee. For some of you this may not be an option (maybe you don't have a home church yet, are homeschooled, and live in a secluded area) but most of you probably aren't in that situation. 

Find like minded sisters in Christ online. This tip comes with caution. Don't be friends with just anybody online. I found an amazing group of nerds who love the same Jesus that I do. Some have beautiful blogs where they really pour out their souls in their writing. They're honest and Godly and just amazing.

Focus on the good in your life. Don't let yourself get stuck in the "poor me" slump that I often found myself in. Work through this season in your life, remembering that
"... all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
(Romans 8:28, NKJV)

And also remember to “Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
(Psalms 37:4, NKJV)

about the author:

Abbie C. began blogging out of a desire to share Jesus, her life
experiences, and health tips with others. A self-proclaimed homebody,
she's traveled and lived all over the United States and parts of
Europe, but currently lives in the American Southwest and hopes to
stay there for very long time. Her passions are writing, natural
health, and most importantly Jesus who is growing her every day to be
more like Him
Visit Abbie's Blog!