Building self confidence and learning to be fearless is something that every girl should do! Why live your life small, afraid, and in a box?
Break out those butterfly wings girl!
Read on to discover how you can conquer enemies that attempt to steal our dreams, such as disappointment and fear.
Don't forget to take our "How Brave Are You?" Quiz!
Disappointment.
That crushing feeling on your heart when your ice cream cone falls on
the floor. When tragedy strikes. When cruel ocean waves topple over
your fragile sandcastle dreams.
We've all been there.
Your
best friend starts dating your crush, you don’t get the lead in the
musical, or your favorite T.V. show gets discontinued.
Big or
small, disappointment stinks.
It hurts to have our hopes
tossed onto the hard cement.
Girls who have experienced one
heart-ache after another, like a broken friendship followed by
another rejection, can start to think,
“Why should I bother
to get my hopes up?
I'm only going to be let down. Again.”
A
victim to cruel disappointments can feel the flowery hopes of her
soul start to wither. She can adopt a cynical outlook on life.
She can start to feel like everyone and everything is out to get her.
That none can be trusted and she must watch out for only one
person…herself.
This is a heartbreaking outlook to have on
life. This suspicious, mistrusting attitude is a disguised shade of
wide-eyed fear.
Disappointment.
That crushing feeling on your heart when your ice cream cone falls on
the floor. When tragedy strikes. When cruel ocean waves topple over
your fragile sandcastle dreams.
We've all been there.
Your
best friend starts dating your crush, you don’t get the lead in the
musical, or your favorite T.V. show gets discontinued.
Big or
small, disappointment stinks.
It hurts to have our hopes
tossed onto the hard cement.
Girls who have experienced one
heart-ache after another, like a broken friendship followed by
another rejection, can start to think,
“Why should I bother
to get my hopes up? I'm only going to be let down. Again.”
A
victim to cruel disappointments can feel the flowery hopes of her
soul start to wither. She can adopt a cynical outlook on life.
She can start to feel like everyone and everything is out to get her.
That none can be trusted and she must watch out for only one
person…herself.
This is a heartbreaking outlook to have on
life. This suspicious, mistrusting attitude is a disguised shade of
wide-eyed fear.
Being
afraid of disappointment is like being afraid of breathing.
It
is totally inevitable.
It cannot be avoided.
We live
in an imperfect world with imperfect people.
Things are not
always going to go your way and you will shed some tears over broken
dreams.
The good news?
You
don’t have to let disappointment rule your life!
Don’t
let it keep you from dreaming huge dreams and taking action to make
them happen!
Many closet dreamers are afraid of failure and
disappointment. They are afraid that if they step out into the light
and tell their friends and family what they really
wish to do, that they'll attempt to fly and end up falling.
Many
girls are afraid to dream and hope beyond what they can see.
The
fear of disappointment is a fear of being hurt.
We try to
avoid this at all costs, dodging disappointment, shuddering to take
risks because seriously...who wants to get punched in the face and
thrown onto the ground?
Do you remember the first time your
big brother punched you in the gut?
You screamed and cried
and wished you could erase the pain.
But the second
time he tried to whack you, you blocked him because you knew what was
coming. Your “self-protection” mode kicked in because you were
afraid of getting hurt again.
This is the same thing that
happens to people who have been shot in the heart with arrows of
disappointment. They put on armor and are prepared for the blows of
this world.
“Hope
deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of
life.”
Proverbs 13:12 NLT
As human beings, we will go
to great lengths to protect ourselves from getting hurt emotionally.
It makes sense, right? If Lilly-Loose-Lips blabbed to
everyone at school about your crush, you're not going to confide in
her again. We learn from our mistakes and experiences. We learn who
to trust and who to steer clear from.
But when we cling to
past disappointments and refuse to let them go, we begin to see this
world in a jaded way as our hearts become sick with worry and fear.
It’s so important to let go of disappointment!
Don't
let past hurts and failures suck the joy out of your life. You can
dream about the future.
I know it might feel impossible right
now...daring to dream feels vulnerable and risky.
Here are
some practical steps to let go of disappointment and hope for a
better tomorrow.
1)
Have A Good Cry
Did
you flunk an audition, fail a job interview or discover that your
boyfriend was cheating on you?
It’s terrible to feel like
we’ve fallen short of our dreams. The first time I auditioned for a
local theater production, I didn’t get a part.
My high
hopes had been dashed to the ground. I was sent home with shattered
pieces of a heart in my hand.
My life has been peppered with
disappointments.
The first time I took my drivers license
test, I didn’t pass. I felt like such a loser and couldn’t
believe that I wasn’t good enough.
I mean, how hard is it
to drive a stupid car? All my friends passed! What was wrong with
me?
When a friend that I trusted deeply hurt me, I felt so
disappointed, and wondered if I would ever find a true friend
again.
Everyone experiences these things. Everyone.
One
of the biggest lies you'll hear between your ears, about
disappointment, is that you're the only one whose been there!
Lie
alert!
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to release those
emotions of hurt that have been bottled up inside. Don’t try to be
too strong. Don’t say,
“Ptsh, that’s no big deal, I should
be stronger than this, this shouldn’t even be an issue.”
It
is
a big deal. It’s your life, and to you, in this moment, this feels
like it just changed the course of history.
Talk to someone
about how you feel. Write in a journal or go for a bike ride alone.
Talk to God. Hey, if you want to, listen to a sad song.
Let
your quivering emotions drain out until you realize that it’s okay
to feel like this. Getting hurt, being disappointed, causes
real
pain, and no problem is too silly or non-important.
Trust me,
if it matters to you, it matters to God!
He took the sweet
time to number every hair on your head. He cares about every detail
of your life.
2)
Remember: This Isn’t The End of the World
Right
now, in this moment of your life, it feels like today is all you
have. That these years are the most crucial in your life and that the
future will never arrive.
But honestly girl, before you know
it, the pain that you feel today will be nothing less than a memory
from six years ago!
Life will go on. You will go on, and you
will grow stronger from this moment!
Remember; this isn’t
the end of the world!
People still love you. Somewhere in the
world kids are still laughing, the stars are still shining, and a
new-born baby just arrived in the hospital downtown!
New
beginnings of this beautiful life and opportunities, are all around
you. Your days will be colored with glorious sunsets, new people to
meet and new places to go!
You won’t feel like this
forever. I promise.
It gets better.
End your pity party and begin looking at
this world through new eyes. Take note of the beautiful things.
Listen to positive music, take a jog to clear your head, remember
what you’ve got to be thankful for, and take time to smell the
roses. Look at the beauty of creation and life all around you, then
celebrate it!
3)
Forgive Them, Forgive Yourself
If
someone has hurt you, it’s time to forgive. You hurt, you cried,
you ached…and now it’s time to let go.
Jesus makes it
pretty clear that harboring un-forgiveness in our hearts is wicked,
hurtful, and totally unhealthy!
(In fact, Jesus says if we
want to be forgiven...we have to forgive!)
If you want to get
past this, you have to move on. Don't keep singing sad songs about
what could have been.
A great way to do this is to close your
eyes, bunch up your fist and imagine that all your pain and
twisted-gut hatred toward this person is balled up in your first.
Squeeze it hard, oozing out every last drop of hurt.
Then,
open your mouth and say, “Ellie, you hurt me. But I forgive you for
that. We all make mistakes. I release you from this pain that you
have caused me, and I’m gonna let you live your life!”
Open
your hand and let it go. Erase the memory from your mind and forget
what she did to you. It’s in the past now.
Why hold it
against her?
Someday you'll probably hurt someone as much as
Ellie hurt you.
Wouldn’t you want that person to forgive
you as well?
Forgiveness is vital to getting over this
disappointment, moving on, and enjoying life again!
Another
person you may have to forgive, is yourself.
Maybe you bombed
the audition, said a stupid thing, or feel like this disappointment
is all your fault.
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
Nobody
is expecting you to live this life perfectly, except for yourself. So
let that go, because you're going to make plenty of mistakes.
You’re only human and you
need forgiveness too!
Gather those mistakes into your hand,
crunch 'em up and say,
“I forgive myself for doing this.
God forgives me, and so do I.”
Then open up and let it go!
We can’t keep dwelling in the past, reliving times that
we’ve screwed up. This will slow us down, steal our dreams, and
make us feel miserable. Don’t you want to feel free again?
4)
Dare To Dream
I
use the word dare,
because only truly brave hearts know how to pick themselves up after
disappointment and march on toward their dreams.
This
disappointment didn’t happen because your dream is impossible…no,
it happened because your dream is absolutely attainable!
The
path toward your dream is full of hurdles and you have to be
determined to jump them all. All one-hundred of them. Not just
ninety-nine. You have to keep going!
“Hope deferred makes
the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Proverbs
13:12 NLT
A dream fulfilled is a tree of life because we must
push past everything hard, impossible, and heart-stopping to get
there.
When we finally reach our sweet spot, our garden
oasis…the place we were made to be, we will look back and realize
that pressing through the pain was worth it!
Do what you
were made to do, and don’t let anything stop you.
Go to
another audition. Retake that drivers test. Reach out to that friend
who hurt you.
Don’t be afraid of pain or rejection. That’s
all part of loving and living!
Do
you rise to every challenge with a fearless “I-Can-Do-This”
attitude, or do you slunk towards the back door every time something
hard comes your way?
Take this quiz to find out! Grab a piece of
scrap paper and jot down one letter for each answer you choose. At the
end of the quiz, add up your letters to see where you land on the
Brave-O-Meeter!
1)
You’re
at a fancy new restaurant with your family. The menu is full of
foreign food you’ve never had before. What do you do?
A) Order
off the kids menu please! Old favorites like chicken nuggets and
fries.
B) Try something new but order an old favorite as
well, just encase I don’t like it.
C) Order a foreign food
that I’ve never had before! Might as well be adventurous!
2)
At summer camp, all your friends are going on the zip line. It looks
scary, towering up in the air! What do you do?
A) Not go on
it. Not even for a million dollars.
B) Refuse to go…unless
of course a friend can talk me into it.
C) I’d be the first
one up there!
3) Stephanie suggests that you audition for the
local theater production of Peter Pan. She thinks you’d make a
great Wendy! You’ve never been in a play before. What do you do?
A) Say no way. I’d get stage fright.
B) Audition,
but only for a small speaking part or in the chorus. Having
the lead would be too scary!
C) Go for the lead! You never
know unless you try, right?
4) In Art Class, your teacher Mr.
Newcomer introduces everyone to the new girl. What do you do?
A)
Say "Hi", but only if she comes and sits by me.
B) Invite her
to sit with me and my friends at lunch, but not until later…when no
one’s looking.
C) Suggest that she sits next to me, ask
her where she’s from, and if she likes art.
5) You’ve
noticed that your elderly neighbor across the street, Miss Jenson is
having a hard time getting around lately. You feel bad for her and
wish that you could do something. What do you do?
A) Remind
yourself to pray for her every night.
B) Say "Hello" next time we’re
both outside at the same time.
C) Call her on the telephone,
offer to clean her house, and bring her some cookies!
6)
Nellie asks if you want to go horseback riding with her. You’ve
turned her down a few times because horses are kind of scary. But
she’s asking you again. What do you do?
A) Tell her I’m
allergic to horse hair… anything to get her to quit asking!
B)
Explain to her that I’m kind of afraid of horses, but I'm
willing to try, just as long as I can take it really slow at
first.
C) I would go with her in a heartbeat! That sounds like
so much fun! Even if it is a little nerve wrecking.
7) Ah,
it’s a summer day spent at the pool. A few of your friends are
going on the high dive. Even your little brother is going. But you
can’t stand the thought of it! What do you do?
A) Stick in
the kitty pool…where I’m comfortable!
B) Maybe try a
small diving board, and slowly work my way up to it…but not the big
one yet!
C) Take a deep breath, climb the ladder, and concur
that fear!
8) Your friend Josh invited you to go water-skiing
with his family. It looks kind of scary! What do you do?
A)
Decline. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
B) Ride along in
the boat. I will only get out on water skis of they promise to drive
the boat at a dead crawl!
C) Say, “Of course!”
9)
The whole family is at Disney World and your little brothers are
fearless bombing the biggest roller coasters. They challenge you to
ride Space Mountain, one of the most intense thrill rides at the
park! What do you do?
A) Let them be crazy, I’ll stick
with Mom on the Magic Teacups.
B) Promise to ride a big ride,
but something a little less intense then Space Mountain.
C)
Tackle their challenge. Then dare them go on an even bigger ride!
10) You’re at the mall with your Mom, and you see a girl
who looks a lot like your favorite country singer. Other fans are
running up and asking for her autograph. What do you do?
A) Tug on Mom’s sleeve and point
out who it is.
B) Slowly and wonder over and see if I can talk
to her.
C) Run over and get a picture with her, get her
autograph, and tell her what a huge fan I am!
11) Everyone
at school has been buzzing about the latest book series (that is soon
to be a blockbuster movie.) Personally, you read the book and don’t
like it. What do you do?
A) Pretend to like it, just because
everyone else does.
B) Don’t say anything about it unless
someone asks me directly, “Do you like this book?”
C)
Tell them that I think it stinks. My opinion matters too!
12)
Your cheer-leading team has been assigned to sell Crispy Cream Donuts
outside of Target to raise money. What do you do?
A) Ask to
be the cashier so that I don’t have to try to sell anything.
B)
Stick with my friend and let her do the talking. I just have to
smile.
C) Come up with a fun cheer to get people to buy it,
talk to as many folks as I can, and make some money for the team!
13) The new girl at school, Olivia, has been missing school for a
few days. You ask your teacher why, and she said that her Aunt died.
What do you do?
A) Feel sorry for her then get move on with
my day.
B) Write her a little note and slip it in her locker
for when she comes back.
C) Call her on the phone and ask
when the funeral is so that I can go show my support.
14)
Your Sunday School teacher is asking for volunteers to visit some
kids at the hospital during Christmas time. What do you do?
A)
Slip into the back row and hope that someone else volunteers.
Hospitals make me nervous.
B) Offer to go, just as long as I
have a good friend with me.
C) Be one of the first people to
raise their hands and go whether anyone else is or not.
If
you answered mostly A’s…
It sounds like you’re an
introverted girl who likes her comfort zone! Nobody likes to feel
uneasy and fear can do that to us. Life is full of challenges that beckon us out of our comfort zone. You know what the best thing is
about tackling fears and challenges? Because once we cover new
territory, that becomes our new comfort zone! Read on for ideas
about how to make yourself more confident and a little bit more fearless!
If
you answered mostly B’s…
It sounds like you’re a confident
girl who knows what she’s comfortable with and what she isn’t.
You like to try new things, sometimes, as long as they’re not too
daring!
It’s great that you’re open to trying new things.
Keep that attitude and you will make this life one to remember!
If
you answered mostly C’s
Woah! Has anyone ever called you a
daredevil? It sounds like you’re pretty fearless! That’s great
that you want to tackle the unknown with a “can-do” attitude! I’m
sure there are still some things in your life that you feel uneasy
about, but as long as you keep reminding yourself to try knew things,
trust yourself, and never be afraid…you’ll become more and more
free!
Fear is
a creepy little four letter word. It’s that creepy shiver that
crawls down our spine, awful feeling that wrenches in our gut and
keeps us wide awake and night, chewing on our finger nails.
What are
you afraid of?
Everyone fears different things.
Snakes, fire,
drowning, spiders, tornadoes, wild men with chainsaws…it feels like
the world is full of things to be afraid of!
Some fears are normal
and healthy. The fear of heights tells us that it’s stupid to jump
off a building. The fear of sharks reminds us not to cuddle up with
wild animals. Some fears work as self-preservation to remind us to do
smart things to be safe, such as be careful with a knife in the
kitchen, lock the doors when we’re home alone and have a working
fire alarm in the house.
It’s good to be prepared!
But some
fears…let’s face it…they’re just pretty ridiculous, aren’t
they?
Fear
is a thought which is usually fabricated when our imagination runs a
little bit wild.
Remember your fear of monsters being under the bed?
They weren’t actually there, were they?
You just thought
they were.
As a young girl, I used to be afraid that Cruella De Ville
would come to my front door.
Of course, she did never did. This was
not a thought based on truth, but complete fiction.
We can be
afraid of silly things like spiders, monsters or even the Easter
Bunny (yeah, don’t ask…) but as we grow older, there are some
fears that still cling to us.
Fears of being alone,
friendless, getting hurt, being abandoned, disappointing those we
love, or failing to reach a dream.
We can be afraid of embarrassment,
challenges, or even change.
But it’s these fears, the fears
that affect our decision making in everyday life that we need to face
head on.
Fear can keep us from reaching our dreams. Fear can
even keep us from dreaming.
We can think thoughts like, “I could
never do something like that, so I’m not even going to try…”
Fear is very disabling. It can stop us in our tracks even
before we get started!
One of my favorite stories to share is
the tale of a young surfer girl, Bethany Hamilton. Her dream was to
become a professional surfer. But one day, a shark attacked her while
she was in the water. You can learn about her story, in the
movie Soul Surfer. Check out Bethany's website here. http://bethanyhamilton.com/.
She survived the attack and even though she lost an arm she was
determined to get back in the water.
You see, sharks of fear will
always be swimming where we were destined to be!
Bethany
could’ve easily said, “I’m so afraid that a shark will attack
me again!”
But she didn’t. She
believed that Christ in her was bigger then her fear, and she
inspired a nation with her bravery.
What do you dream about
doing with your life?
Would you like to be an artist, an author,
a dancer or a science teacher?
Close your eyes for a moment
and imagine yourself, doing something that you love to do. Does it
make you feel excited every time you think about it? Does that one
thing feel impossible to accomplish? Are you sometimes afraid that
you might not reach it?
FEAR is going to try to keep you
from that place, that place where you were predestined to be.
Fear
will tell you that you’re not good enough, won’t be brave enough,
might loose your friends, might loose your popularity or that someone
you love might hurt you terribly.
If you choose to chase your
dreams, any of these things might happen.
But something else might
happen as well.
You might reach the dream!
You might become that girl
that you’ve always wanted to be, and just like Bethany Hamilton,
you could inspire a world of young dreamers.
Don’t listen
to any voice that says you cannot do what you were made to do.
It
might be risky? Yes, it might.
It might cost you everything? Maybe.
But won’t it be worth it to find out?
I can tell you this;
regret is a much worse feeling then the feeling of failure. If you
fail, that means that you’re actually doing something right: you’re
trying, despite the fear that you’re feeling!
There is only one way to concur fear: determine ahead of time that you will never let it beat you.
Fear is persistent. Be more persistent! If
you fall down ninety nine times, get up that hundredth time!
Because
you never know if the ninety ninth time might be the time that you win…the time that
you’ll prove all your critics wrong.
Check out this page of Self Confidence quotes below. Read them everyday and remind yourself that fear is only a
feeling! And feelings are not always true! Pin them, share them with your friends, print them out, and remind yourself that you can be fearless!
Advice For Girls:
Livy Lynn: The Big Sister
Friendship Advice
Boy Advice
Inner Beauty
Self Confidence
Positive Thinking