By: Alexandria Grace
When I was a young girl, there was an activity I participated in over and over again that, if asked to play again now, I’d give every excuse imaginable and every reason not to.
That “game” is known as Trust Fall.
Anyone know the folly I’m talking about? I bet many of you do, but if you’re someone who doesn’t have any idea what Trust Fall is, let me paint you a picture.
Trust Fall is exactly what it sounds like. It’s carried out the way it’s written. It’s simple and sporadic. You stand tall, wrap your arms around your chest, close your eyes, and fall backwards into the arms of those you’ve entrusted your well-being to. And, if all goes as planned, the trusted individuals will catch you in their wide open, firm embrace, right before you hit the ground.
As a girl, I’d race at the chance to fall into the arms of those I trusted. Trust Fall was a mere game I saw as nothing more than thrilling fun, as opposed to a vulnerable abandonment of myself into the care of other people.
As a child, I didn’t doubt or fear the falling, because I first trusted those I was falling into. I had rock-solid belief that couldn’t be shaken, one that knew all would be well. And so, when given the opportunity to let go, like a leaf from a branch in Autumn, I always did.
As I’ve gotten older, trust has become thinner and harder to hold on to. Trust Fall now isn’t a simple game to participate in or a joyful activity to play; it’s a terrifying, daily decision that takes every fabric of faith I can muster up. It’s a choice that makes my hands shake and the brim of my eyes fill with tears.
Now, most always I’m thinking, “Trust? And fall? Oh, no. Please, no. I can’t trust, God, and I definitely can’t fall.”
I know I’m not alone in feeling like this.
I know I’m not the only person who once had a childlike joy, belief, and trust in people, as well as in God.
I know I’m not the only person who then grew up, saw the world for what it was rather than through rose-colored glasses, and became anxious, sorrowed, and lacking in trust for both man and God.
I truly do know that there are those of you reading that once fell into God’s arms but now retract your embrace from Him.
That there are those, like me, who now shake their head in terror and run as God beckons them to surrender to His embrace.
I know. Which is why I’m writing this. As encouragement for both you and I.
Picture Credit: Pinterest
Dear one, I wish I could tell you the number of times the Bible says to trust in God. I really wish I knew the exact number, but to be honest, I don’t know. I just know it’s far more than what I could count on my fingers, and even in my head. I bet the words are in the Bible similarly to the amount of stars that grace the heavens.
One of my favorite Psalms about trusting in God, and simply trust in general, is the Davidic Psalm of 62. The title of the poetic work in my HCSB study Bible is literally, “Trust in God Alone.” Extremely fitting for this conversation, no?
In the prayerful poem, David speaks of God as our resting place, our rock, salvation, stronghold, etc. “I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken” (Psalm 62:1-2).
Sounds familiar, correct? It’s only mentioned a thousand times in multiple other passages in the Bible.
But David, in the next few lines, uniquely talks about how many of us struggle with feeling like a leaning wall, or a teetering stone fence when we’re attacked.
I don’t know about you, but that description is one that depicts me right about now.
In 62:3, it’s written like this: “How long will you threaten a man? Will all of you attack as if he is a leaning wall or a tottering stone fence?”
Yep. Definitely sounds like me. Maybe it sounds a little like you, too.
I know for me personally, in these fast changing times and shifting seasons, I often feel like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, tilted by burdens. That, or a metal park teeter-totter, one that moves up and down like a scale measuring weights. Fear on one end, faith on the other. Uncertainty on one side, trust on the opposite.
I’ll tell you, if you can’t already tell, that fear and distrust are more heavy on my shoulders than faith and certainty are. I battle through things like anxiety, stress, and hopelessness on the daily and it makes me hesitant to trust God, as my heart and mind cloud with lies from the enemy.
But, David’s words ring in my head, even if just faintly, whenever I’m having difficulty choosing between letting fear override faith or faith trump fear. “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge” (62:8).
Trusting God at all times is hard. So, so hard. Trusting in God SOMETIMES is hard!
But…I have to ask myself when I review these verses, these questions:
Have I poured out my heart to God?
Have I told Him that I’m struggling to trust Him?
Do I ask Him to help me with my lack of trust?
If the Bible says God is a refuge, and I believe the Word to be authoritative and without flaw, than isn’t God a safe place for me to unpack my emotions?
Won’t He help me to gain back the trust I once had in Him and other people, if I ask Him?
Picture Credit: Pinterest
Today, if you’re struggling like I am, I want to encourage you to ask these questions or questions similar, and to talk to God. Tell Your heavenly Father that you don’t trust Him at all, or as much as you probably should as His daughter. Ask Him to help you regain the trust and faith you may have once had in Him as a child. Let Him know you’re afraid to close your eyes and fall into His arms. Tell Him what you’re thinking and feeling, and know that He hears your request to either have the strength to fall or the desire to do so.
Then look and see Him transform you from asking, “How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me?” to declaring, “But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance” (Psalm 13:2, 5).
Watch Him teach you how to fly from the branch you can't seem let go of, like a leaf changing colors and falling in Autumn.
Learn how to Trust, dear one. And then, FALL.